Confidence is king.

My first ever online date had me meeting someone from a different city entirely, albeit one not very far away. I’d probably sent a gazillion messages to a gazillion girls and started to feel like this whole online dating thing was a massive con. Limited replies, limited interest. Was it my pictures? My profile? My messages? God knows how I sent first messages in those days and even now there seems no rhyme or reason as to what guarantees a response, other than saying something offensive. Which I occasionally like to do.

The format for the opening exchanges would go on to be the formula for virtually every online date I had thereafter – messages online, eventually text messages, definitely no phone calls and meet. I’ve never been one for phone calls, particularly. I find them tiresome and awkward, and I’m not a 14 year old girl. Like, virtually ever.



She came to me and I was 30 minutes late. And about three pints down. It was the middle of the day and my housemates birthday, so I stuck around for a bit and got sidetracked. As it was my first ever online date, I told all my friends where I was going and who I was meeting, just in case bits of me were to be found scattered around the city over the coming weeks, and I wasn’t responding to texts. Because I bloody love my texts.

I’m a hopeless romantic so we met at a Wetherpoons next to a train station.

First impressions were great. She was as cute as her profile pictures and subsequent picture messages had led me to believe. She was softly spoken and shy, which is something I would take initially as first date nerves but found out as we continued to see eachother went a lot deeper. We toured a number of pubs around the city, all of which I had experience with, and overall we had a lovely time. We returned back to my house late, and I think we always felt it was going to happen. Our text messages prior to meeting had got progressively sexual in nature and images were shared between us, so provided she didn’t turn out to be a 40 year old man from Grimsby there was always a possibility.

"I think we have a genuine connection."

“I think we have a genuine connection.”

As an introduction to online dating it couldn’t have gone better. We continued to see eachother fairly regularly for a long while. In fact, we’re still in touch. I suppose primary reason we never entered into anything full fledged is because of the distance between us, which wasn’t especially drastic, but enough to stop that from happening. The secondary reason is confidence.

For someone so smart, beautiful and funny, with excellent taste in pop culture, The Shy Girl lacked a self esteem normally associated with people with those traits. She could be swallowed up in a group, disappear in a crowd and that’s sad. And overall, if I’m being honest, that’s not me. It gave me a desire to act as more of an older brother than a lover I suppose. It was a difficult set of circumstances, really, and I still miss her.