Big Limpin’

I’m a little ashamed to say my recollection of subsequent activity with ‘Inappropriate’ is hazy at best.

An occasion came about whereby she actually met my mother – purely by accident. All three of us were tremendously drunk, but I remember enough to recall her constantly interrupting my mum, mid-sentence. And my mum is cool, man. Don’t interrupt her. Ever. Definitely not as a potential love interest. So that lost her a massive amount of points. My mum is cool enough, laid back enough, and confident enough to not even notice it. But me? I was like “Ugh…lame.”

Something happened around that time. Or something was said. Something that made me think, “Okay, you have a problem and you’re massively inappropriate and I really wouldn’t like to see you any longer.”  Inappropriate sent me a message on Plenty of Fish, a message which when reviewing my other messages with her via Facebook and Whatsapp, seems wildly important. I can’t re-read this POF message now as it seems to have been deleted but she said something…I just cant quite recall…


"When I remember what you said to annoy me, my GOD I'm going to be extra annoyed."

“When I remember what you said to annoy me, my GOD I’m going to be EXTRA annoyed.”

I wish I could recall the things she said as I felt I was SO BLOODY JUSTIFIED IN MY SUBSEQUENT ACTIONS. And I sincerely was. Yet, alas, I cannot. I had a lot going on at the time.

My Dad, God Bless his soul and may he rest in peace, passed away not long after this in the beginning of 2014. Myself and ‘Inappropriate’ had been out of touch for some time. perhaps a few  months. She knew my Dad was very ill and she must have been keeping her ‘good’ eye on the obituaries as she felt it right and decent, despite having never met him – and knowing her and I were not on good terms –  to message me when he passed away and ask if she was able to attend his funeral.  She actually said in her message, “I’ve seen the obituaries.” Fuck me. I didn’t respond to this message, despite my feeling of absolute disdain and annoyance at the request. I felt it best to just not respond. That was the mature me. The decent me. The tolerant me. I was changed. I was reformed. I was bigger than this.

However, ‘Inappropriate’ isn’t named as such for no reason –  she asked me again. She received no response to her original request so ACTUALLY asked me again to come to my dad’s funeral. Even as I’m typing this I’m a little aghast at her behaviour. And bear in mind, this was ON TOP of her already being ‘Inappropriate’ beforehand.  It’s a head-shaker. Truly. Just a massive lack of understanding of what’s what and more importantly – of what’s right.

Myself and Inappropriate did not talk for quite some time. I bumped into her about 18 months later, at a bus station where <CUE THE AWESOME CUT BACK TO ORIGINAL TOPIC>, she was waiting for bus. I said “Fuck your bus, come for a pint in a shit pub.” She said “Okay.” We both talked. Nothing happened. Never heard from her since.

That was thoroughly, thoroughly the end.